Burnout and me. What I learned from crashing twice in as many years
To everyone else, I was focussed.
Productive.
Busy.
And we all love to be busy right?
We value it so much, we brag about it, we admire people whose calendars look like Jenga towers.
I’ve been that person.
Obsessed with productivity.
Keen to make the most out of every single minute of every single day. Wired to jump from one thing to the next without blinking.
On the one hand, the overachiever in me is part of the reason why I am where I am today.
A successful career.
A fulfilling business.
A nice place to live.
Exotic holidays.
All as a first generation immigrant to a country where I knew no one. Away from war, instability and violence in more forms than I care to share in this piece.
I pinch myself sometimes, I am absolutely aware of my privilege, and I thank my Little-Miss-Overachiever for taking care of me and pushing me when all I really wanted was to Netflix-and-wine (is that a thing? If not, you’re welcome reader).
On the other hand, this constant drive for more is the reason I burned out twice in the last couple of years. It’s the reason why I hit the metaphorical wall so hard I couldn’t leave the house, message friends or do any single item on my (very organised) to-do list.
And being a sneaky little minx, Little-Miss-Never-Enough didn’t stop at that, she also made me feel guilty for “failing” every single second of of every single day.
If nothing else, I have learned to spot the signs
Burnout is quite similar to anxiety and stress, it can sometimes be hard to tell the difference and spot which is which. The first time it happened to me, I had no idea what was coming. I was working long hours, I was working on weekends, it was the middle of the pandemic so I thought it was just stress. I ignored it and pushed on. Until I couldn’t get out of bed anymore.
Your burnout will probably feel very different from mine, so listen to what your own body is telling you. For me, that felt like:
Lethargy — I genuinely couldn’t get out of bed, reply to messages or even be bothered to choose something to watch on Netflix. I just couldn’t.
Dread — I remember I had a fairly basic to do list to tackle next, and even thinking about an admin task sent my heart into overdrive.
Apathy — I didn’t care about anything or anyone, not even my cats demanding attention (or my partner for that matter).
Cynicism — I am a bit (or a lot to some) cynical at the best of times, so imagine the depths I plunged into, constantly thinking “what’s the point” every single time I thought of doing something, no matter how trivial
Grouchiness — again, not a total novelty for me, but this was on another level. I would flare up at any annoyance and get frustrated at the tiniest thing my cats/partner would do, and at any message I would receive from work and from friends
This is where I confess that I might also skipped showers, had snacks in bed (shock! gasp!), and turned into a complete hermit for about two weeks at a time.
The first time I went through this, I didn’t even call it burnout. I just thought I was tired and needed a break. It took me a second round to spot the similarities, and I’ve begun to label it which definitely helps with handling it.
As an aside, I am not special, and neither are you
I’m obviously not alone in burning out. 75% of people in the creative industry have reported burning out, or being close to doing so. 77% of people in consulting have said the same thing. Over 70% of tech folk have said the same thing, and that’s before all the rounds of layoffs, the massive job insecurity and the cost of living crisis.
These numbers are incredibly high, and I won’t even bother scaring you with the stats for emergency response units, social carers, medical professionals or any of the groups of legends who made our lives even possible during the pandemic. That’s a totally different piece.
I work a lot with creative founders and leaders, and hear so many stories that make my experience sound super mild.
If you’re feeling close to burning out, please please please take time off to reset. Other tips you might want to consider:
Acknowledge it — like I said, the first time I went through burnout I didn’t know it was that. I just called it stress, I thought I needed to rest, and I moved on. Instead, I now spot the signs, label it as burnout, and intentionally choose my next step.
Get help — both professionally and personally, get help from a therapist if it’s what you need, or a coach (say hi if you want to), or even from people close to you. Your instinct will probably be to shut down if your experience is anything like mine, instead ask for help, your recovery might be shorter that way.
Rest — and I don’t just mean sleep. If you haven’t seen it already, check out this TED talk about the different types of rest we all crave. sometimes. Do you need sleep? Or do you need to be in nature away from your devices? Or do you want to pick up scrapbooking for a while and get yourself some creative rest that gets you out of your head and into your body?
Breathe — not the regular in and out stuff, but the deep meditative stuff. Try breathwork exercises, try mindfulness, try going for a long walk in a field or by the beach and genuinely breathe.
Set boundaries — these are hyperpersonal boundaries only you will know about. Think about what brought your burnout on, and design mechanism to stop it from happening again. For me, that meant deleting work emails/Slack off my personal phone, and putting my work phone + my work laptop in a cupboard at 5pm and not checking them until 9am the next morning. Brutal? Maybe. It did make a massive difference to my mental health though.
Workplaces can do so much to fight burnout in the first place.
I’ll be writing about that next.
I hope for your sake though that you work somewhere where you can be open with your managers and with your team about the fact that you’re struggling and that you need some help with your work for a short period of time.
I didn’t. It made my burnout worse and my recovery longer.
If you’d like a confidential chat, grab time to chat.
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