Want to be more assertive as a leader? 10 changes to your language that will instantly help
I work with so many incredibly talented, and kind, and empathetic leaders.
Many of them care so much about their team, they often struggle with getting the balance right between friendly and being commanding.
They don’t want to come across as a d*ck and rule their teams with an iron fist.
They don’t want to be seen as an intimidating leadership figure.
But they also need to get work done, and tiptoeing around their team’s feeling isn’t always helpful (or productive).
We always end up talking about assertiveness and confidence in these cases.
And sometimes, making small changes to the language you use as a leader can instantly boost your assertiveness - even if you’re the most hardcore people pleaser out there.
Here are 10 small changes you can make right now to the way you communicate with your team that will instantly boost your own confidence, and help you come across as more assertive:
Use Strong, Action-Oriented Language
Instead of "I think we should consider..."
Say "Let's take action on..."
Avoid Apologetic Phrases
Instead of "Sorry to bother you, but..."
Say "I need your input on..."
Assertive Tone in Requests
Instead of "Would you mind...?"
Say "Please..."
Avoid Qualifying Statements
Instead of "This might be a silly idea, but..."
Say "I have an idea..."
State Expectations Clearly
Instead of "Could you possibly...?"
Say "I need you to..."
Express Confidence in Decisions
Instead of "I'm not sure, but I think..."
Say "Based on my assessment, I've decided..."
Use Direct Statements to Express Disagreement
Instead of "I see your point, but..."
Say "I respectfully disagree because..."
Set Clear Expectations with Action-Oriented Language
Instead of "It would be great if..."
Say "I need you to..."
Avoid Minimising Language
Instead of "I just wanted to..."
Say "I want to discuss..."
Express Confidence in Abilities
Instead of "I hope I'm not wrong, but..."
Say "I'm confident that..."
I’d love to give you a solid stat that backs up the impact of making these changes.
While there may not be a single stat directly correlating to the impact of implementing these specific language changes on leadership effectiveness, research in the field of assertive communication and leadership can provide valuable insights for all the doubters out there.
For example, studies have shown that assertive communication is associated with improved team performance, increased employee engagement, and enhanced interpersonal relationships within the workplace. Additionally, leaders who communicate assertively are often perceived as more confident, credible, and persuasive by their team members.
One study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior found that leaders who effectively use assertive communication techniques are better able to establish clear expectations, delegate tasks more effectively, and resolve conflicts more efficiently, leading to higher levels of team productivity and satisfaction.
Anecdotally, I invite you to think about the last time you gave your team a task to do.
Let’s audit how well you did:
Were you clear on your expectation for the task?
Were you clear on when you needed that person’s input by?
Were you clear with that person on why their imput was important and why it was needed by that time?
Did you set clear expectations for when you’ll be checking in on progress?
Did you give constructive and specific feedback during your check in?
Were you clear on how that person can get in touch with you if they needed help along the way?
If you nailed all the points above, and used assertive language completely all those steps, odds are you nailed the brief and didn’t have to worry unnecessarily about whether things will be done or not.
Remember, clarity is key in everything you do as a leader.
In what you communicate to your team, and in how you communicate.
Give these tips a try and drop me a line to let me know how you got on.
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